Dear Mitch He Uses Hair To Question Authority
He Uses Hair To Question Authority
Friday, 11 June 2010 00:00
50-year-old "counter culture dude" struggles to explain to his wife what his long hair means to him.
I have hair. Lots of hair. Hair loss isn't a problem … yet. I grew up in the late 1970s. I was very influenced by the culture at that time; since I was 12, I have worn my hair long. I have never had short hair. I keep my hair clean and neat, but my wife believes that I should have outgrown this "phase" and doesn't understand why I want to keep up this "image" as I approach 50. It's getting on my nerves, and she is really making an issue of it. I've explained to my wife that I'm a long-haired, counterculture dude through and through, right to my heart. I'm a "question authority" person, but my long hair/ponytail goes way beyond an image or a symbol to me. She doesn't get it, and I doubt she will. Mitch, please explain to people who read your column that long hair is an important part of projecting who a long-haired man is -- as any hair is for anyone, especially women who love their long hair. It may not be able to save my marriage, but you might help save someone else's.
Rockin’ on in San Diego, Calif.
Dear Rockin’ On:When I first read your letter, I was a bit shocked. How in the world did you find me -- and a site that deals with hair loss? Then as I read further, I realized you were making a point, a valid one even for those who might still be scratching their head. Hair as part of people’s image of how they are seen in the world has always been powerful. How we see and judge ourselves when we look in the mirror, even more so. We can’t deny it, whether we’re nothing but scalp or wearing it down to our knees. It’s a perfect example of why this site draws the attention it does. It’s about giving people options and choices they can make, from wigs to implants. This column is about helping those to see and understand the loss as loss and that relationship challenges arise regardless of the external forces of nature and DNA.
That out of the way, I’m not sure where exactly to begin concerning the specific challenges you are having with your wife. Wearing one’s hair long is usually not a deal breaker, especially in a marriage. It’s on the list with leaving the toilet seat up, leaving dishes in the sink and not turning lights off when leaving a room. It’s “stuff” about which people do their best to inspire change in others and then at a certain point realize, as one spiritual adviser shared with his constituents, “I have made peace with knowing that our electric bill is going to be a little higher every month.” If you’re talking deal breaker, I’m going with underlying issues that have finally reared their teeth. And, if I may be so bold to assert, the fact that you found HairLoss.com to use as a pulpit makes it seem likely you’ll share this story with anyone willing to listen. My advice is to start talking with your wife, not to her -- not like you’re pleading your case to a Senate subcommittee hearing, but as a partner knowing that there’s more here than meets the eye. A big thumbs-up on your point to folks about hair -- now get to work on your marriage!
Dear Mitch is written by “The Relationship Coach”, also known as Mitch Newman, M.A.. Write Dear Mitch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow this link to fill out a form. Every letter is carefully reviewed but because of the large numbers of letters we receive, not every letter can be answered.
Keywords: Hair Loss Treatments
