Men See Humor In Hair Loss

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Dear Mitch

Men See Humor In Hair Loss

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Monday, 01 February 2010 00:00

Three generations of bald men from a family in Cleveland believe that hair loss should be seen with some humor.

My father lost his hair when he was 20. I began losing my hair when I was 18. My son is losing his hair and he's only 21. But you know what? We all married beautiful women who love us, we all feel good about ourselves and we all take our hair loss with humor. I think more people should do that, but why is it that it seems the great, great majority can't? I don't want to be insensitive, but three generations of bald Baldeau men say, "Laugh. Life is too short not to."

— Marc, Mike and Matt Baldeau, Cleveland OH

Dear Baldeau Men –

Great for all three of you! Let’s give a special shout-out to Dad, who modeled from day one that how one sees the issue is the issue. This is a perfect example of what I constantly tell clients: what you believe to be true is the foundation for everything. Many kids grow up with a lot of mixed signals from their parents — telling them to behave or think one way and then doing the exact opposite. The inconsistency makes us feel unsure as to how we should think or act, and this makes it most challenging to decide what we are really feeling. Without the consistency, we are left to our own devices to make decisions, and more often than not those decisions don’t ultimately serve us or reflect who we really are. It is a tough call to assume that 10-year-old kids can figure it out without a clear guiding voice to support them.

In your scenario, Dad clearly modeled that he was OK with his hair loss and was able to support that information by consistently showing you what “OK” looked like on a daily basis. I would also tell you that all three of you being fine about your hair loss is more of a statement about your overall self-worth and self-esteem in the larger arena of your life, with hair loss as just one non issue. That is a trans-generational pattern I would love to see more of. And, there is no guarantee, despite what was modeled for you, that all three of you would without a doubt be OK with your circumstances. Different personalities adapt based on their own journey and plan.

Most of my work is undoing what didn’t work and helping people decide for themselves what is real and authentic for them. I think it would be a fantastic opportunity for the hair loss community as a whole to see the three of you on a commercial or speaking to young kids and revealing the other side of this coin. It is all too often assumed that the issue prompts only the challenges people have to endure. Seeing another face, one that is smiling, laughing and living life without a second thought, could really support a lot of men, women, young adults and even kids who face a much larger challenge of trying to find their own way in the world. Keep laughing and sharing that laughter with others!

Dear Mitch is written by “The Relationship Coach”, also known as Mitch Newman, M.A.. Write Dear Mitch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow this link to fill out a form. Every letter is carefully reviewed but because of the large numbers of letters we receive, not every letter can be answered.

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