Hair Club's marketing pitch has man pondering the link between hair loss and physical attraction.

I'm 32 and single, and I’ve been losing my hair for the past 10 years. I'm not happy about it. I'm mostly bald on top now. I saw a commercial for Hair Club for Men, and I went to their Web site. The entire pitch is that if I have my hair back, I will attract women, one in each arm. I find this type of marketing revolting. Now I'm wondering, could my hair loss really be the cause of the fact that I can't attract women? I know there is more to it than that, Mitch, but when you look at the marketing, it makes it seem like hair is everything. Could hair really be that important?

Not Joining the Club, Norfolk, VA

Dear Not Joining –

We do live in a society that places a great deal of emphasis on a good head of hair. We also like to look at people who are lean and fit. We also are attracted to television shows where people get hurt, physically, mentally and emotionally.

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We’re also known to be a species that is attracted to people who make us laugh and inspire us to live incredible lives. There are all kinds of us out there with our preferences and things that we like and enjoy. Some men I know who have hair loss do have a women on each arm. We can attempt to blame society for the way it depicts women in beer commercials or what can happen for you when you go to Hair Club for Men. I just think it’s a waste of time. I have personally never been attracted to anyone or anything that I wasn’t already attracted to. I’ve met bald women, heavier women, women who were not really very attractive to me but their personalities made them so.

I think it’s important that we stop worrying about how things are presented and concentrate more on what it is about ourselves, and others, that we like most. Seek out the people who carry the most juice for you, and let that carry you. You’ll find your taste for things changes as you get older, as it will for others. Having a reaction like being revolted is only an issue within you and what may be a reflection of your challenges with women. It may be time to stop buying into what advertisers depict and believe to be true and time to start looking at what you believe to be true. It’s probably time to stop going into that well that holds no water.

Bottom line: Not everyone will find you attractive. It may be less about your hair loss and more about your attitude that pushes people away. Be the best you can and let the chips fall where they may.

Dear Mitch is written by “The Relationship Coach”, also known as Mitch Newman, M.A.. Write Dear Mitch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow this link to fill out a form. Every letter is carefully reviewed but because of the large numbers of letters we receive, not every letter can be answered.

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