If Mitch, the Relationship Coach, shaved his head, would he gain a deeper understanding of hair loss issues?

You're pretty good at dispensing advice about hair loss. I see on various Web sites that you have plenty of hair. You're a smart guy, no doubt, but you'll never really and truly understand the pain of hair loss unless you live through it. How about going for some credibility by shaving your hair off and walking in our shoes for a month or two? See if those media appearances dry up. I doubt you'll do it. I doubt this letter will get printed. But if you did do it, you might learn a thing or three about just how far into our lives hair loss can reach. I dare you!

T. L. Watson, Agoura, Calif.

Dear TL –

A few things. First and most importantly, I never dispense advice about hair loss. I have zero frame of reference for the experiences surrounding it, so attempting to do so would be inauthentic and out of integrity. I am a Relationship Coach. I don’t like to think that I really dispense advice on the topic of relationships either, simply because my role is not to tell anyone what to do. What I do is ask people to consider turning something on its side and looking at it from a different perspective, a different angle.

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Sometimes we get so used to looking at something that we stop seeing anything else or, really, believing anything else is possible. I ask people to look at their belief systems and ask themselves if life is really working for them in the ways in which they would like.

What I do have an understanding of is the concept of loss and how it has impacted my life and those I work with. I do believe that all loss is experienced at 100 percent. Your house, your job, your hair, your uncle -- your subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between them or show favoritism. What I’ve learned is that when we experience loss, all of the unresolved beliefs, issues and stories of our lives are exposed and rise to the surface of life. It’s when that happens that I can really help people. I know if I can support them in capturing the experience -- turning it on its side and seeing it from a different perspective -- then the opportunity for transformation becomes highly viable.

Lastly, I am not going to shave my head and then pretend I understand loss any better than I do now. And even if I did, I still wouldn’t understand what hair loss feels like for you, because I’m not you. I appreciate your willingness to speak your truth and write to me. Getting to the feelings and your willingness to express them, regardless of what they are, is the first opportunity and step along the way to healing. Thank you!

Dear Mitch is written by “The Relationship Coach”, also known as Mitch Newman, M.A.. Write Dear Mitch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow this link to fill out a form. Every letter is carefully reviewed but because of the large numbers of letters we receive, not every letter can be answered.

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