Dear Mitch
When are Hair Systems a Cover Up?
When are Hair Systems a Cover Up?

Man who wears a hair system has to share his secret with a beautiful woman he met.
I’m 26 and I wear hair. A “hair system” or “toupee” or “hairpiece”. You get what I’m saying. It’s a good one. I’m not kidding myself that nobody can see it. They can’t. How do I know? Two months ago I met a beautiful woman who I will call “Dawn”. I met her with hair. When I’m wearing hair, I look ten years younger. I look much more handsome than without hair. The problem is that now things are getting serious. It feels like we’re “in love” and I’m struggling with the fact that I have to tell her about my hair. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want her to think I’ve been lying. I guess my question is two parted: Have I been lying to her? How can I tell her without losing her?
— Alan, Los Angeles, CA
Dear Alan:
I appreciate your dilemma. I think many of us have been in situations where we have extended the truth in an effort not to be judged or excluded by others. With that said, you can’t be assured how she will feel once the jig is up. That will be up to her to determine based on her true feelings for you and issues that extend far beyond you to any issues she has about trust and honesty that may have wreaked havoc in her past. What you do have dominion over is your own levels of honesty and integrity. Technically you have been withholding a truth from her. Where that falls on the scale is not easily measured. Granted, no children or small animals have been hurt as a result of your withholding this information, yet it would be important to consider your need to present yourself in a light that some might feel isn’t entirely “authentic”.
The best way to tell her would fall into the path of straight and direct with a large dose of ownership appearing upfront and from your heart. There is no way to determine her reaction and assure she would not exit the relationship. I would suggest if she doesn’t run for the hills, that the actual reveal come at a different time than the delivery of the information so it all doesn’t come off as some bad reality TV show. In your desire to have the perfect disguise to make you look more like everyone else, what really makes you unique may have gotten lost. Regardless of the outcome consider bolstering your confidence and connecting with your greatness in a way that represents more of who you really are beyond what resides on your scalp. Ideally you will want to be with a woman who sees beyond your hair to your brain and most importantly to your heart.
I would venture to say that if falling in love is to lead to true love, then having her know upfront would be worth the journey.
Dear Mitch is written by “The Relationship Coach”, also known as Mitch Newman, M.A.. Write Dear Mitch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow this link to fill out a form. Every letter is carefully reviewed but because of the large numbers of letters we receive, not every letter can be answered.
Keywords: Hair Systems
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